Welcome back to my weekly breakdown of Inhumans, where I try to make sense of this quite divisive show. You probably know by now that I am not the biggest fan of this Scott Buck-ed up program, but as an MCU completionist, I feel the need to get through it anyway. So let’s try to have fun with it, right?

I Might Be Done With This Show Now

Okay, that wasn’t necessarily a bad episode. Things happened, the gang is back together, Karnak and Gorgon are all right, woo-hoo. But this episode frustrated me personally, as it was representative of a lot of problems I’ve had with the show from the very beginning. Concepts are wasted, despite brimming with potential. Big moments are largely ignored. Logic is completely non-existent.

Yes, I said last week that I would stick too it, as I’m too far deep into it. But even though this episode wasn’t a complete turd, I don’t see what can be salvaged from this show (or at least this season, if the show somehow survives). I feel like what I know what’s next, and whether the show goes in those directions or not, I predict complete dissatisfaction.

An Experiment

Before we get into the nitty-gritty, I’ll share with you a fun thing I did this past weekend. I sat my friend Laura down with me to watch this episode, giving very little context of what the show was about; she also had no knowledge of the comic book source material. But being a fellow creative writer who I talk about story with very often, I wanted to hear her perspective, even though starting her on episode 6 was essentially throwing her into the deep end of the pool.

Observations and questions included:

  • How can Ramsey Bolton fall asleep sitting on that uncomfortable chair?
  • Is that the gentlemen who’s name is Gorgon?
  • That lady is a scientist because of her glasses.
  • Okay, but is Lightning Lady also from the moon?
  • The dog teleports. That’s the obvious part.
  • Wait, that’s Gorgon? This doesn’t seem like a very Gorgon-heavy episode.
  • What’s with all of the Roman stuff in this show? (referring to the statues in the throne room) Then there’s Maximus, Tiberius (Tibor)… is there a character named Claudius?
  • Is that the same scene as last time? (referring to a scene of Maximus speaking to Bronaja while walking through a hallway; only from one episode she can tell that most scenes are blocked like this)
  • Who is Kit Kat?
  • Who is Black Beard?

To be fair, we were watching this on an iPad that was probably too far from our faces to read the closed captioning. I apologized to her afterwards for making her watch this.

This TV Show Is MCU’s The Room

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. Jeph Loeb might as well have hired Tommy Wiseau to run this show. At least it would have been funnier. If you don’t know about Wiseau’s masterpiece The Room, the “Citizen Kane of bad movies” is known for its melodrama, incomprehensible plot, characters and subplots that appear and disappear without warning and cheesy musical moments. Sound familiar to you? I don’t even have to explain the melodrama, and you probably well know by now that this plot is totally bonkers (I’d be upset if I went through a breakdown without using the phrase “weed farm”). And dear lord, the music. Seriously, where do they find these godawful songs? (And where can I find them to totally not listen to?)

But boy, subplots come and go like crazy. Remember that big tease at the end of the last episode that there would be this secret coup against Maximus’s coup? Totally gone by the end of this episode. They put that freaky make-up on that one actor for what ended up being a bit role. Tibor is now gone, and considering he was dumb enough to discuss the coup while Maximus is literally in the same frame as him, I will not be missing him. What the hell was Auran doing being buddies with Declan/Desmond from Lost and wearing scrubs when she was just going to tie him up and keep him as a hostage? The entire show to this point had the Royal Family scrambling to desperately find each other, and they decide to split up? Maybe with their powers combined, they could prevent something tragic, like I don’t know, one of them dying.

So Much For a Gorgon Episode

In my inaugural rant regarding this show, I complained that the first couple of episodes had big moments that were largely unearned—that couldn’t be any more true with the “climactic” and “dramatic” sacrifice of Gorgon. I’ll start off right away by saying that it was rushed, contrived and completely unnecessary. When you’re capturing the dude who shoots lasers out of his face, are you really just going to restrain his arms? Admittedly, Gorgon’s tactic of bringing the building down is in-character—we know that he is one who acts before he thinks. But none of that seemed to register in this episode because nothing led up to this. In what seemed to be a Maximus-focused episode (especially with his flashback), Gorgon’s death didn’t work thematically—the Karnak and Gorgon-heavy episode before this would have been a better avenue for such drama.

Plus, Gorgon’s not totally gone, right? Why do you think the show pulled a Wiseau and, without any set up in any of the previous episodes, introduced a subplot of Auran’s regenerative powers beginning to fail? You bet that’s going to come up, and probably be an absurd plot device that will bring our hooved friend back. If the show goes this route, and introduces the same life-giving device the same episode a significant character dies, then you can also call Inhumans the Star Trek Into Darkness or Heroes season 2 of the MCU. And if the show doesn’t go this route, then Gorgon’s death was truly a pointless affair. I do not like either route, and it makes me dread watching the resolution.

Yeah, I’m Probably Done

So let me end here by circling back to our favorite laserfaced dude, Mordis. I actually really liked the cat-and-mouse moment between him and Karnak, where he talked about how his abilities, and most of all his lack of privilege like Black Bolt, led to a life of confinement; Karnak appeared to be somewhat sympathetic. Now we’re getting somewhere, I said. Here’s some real-ass drama here. But nope, Karnak knocks him out and tells Gorgon that he really didn’t mean any of that. Jeez, maybe that’s why the common people hate you all? Whenever the show introduces something that could be interesting, it is instantly waved off like that. Louise and Medusa talk about the nature of humans in the car, and Louise counters by saying “What if I thought that everyone on Attilan was like your Maximus?” A good point, right? Because Medusa literally says “that’s a good point,” but doesn’t even take a full second to change the subject.

And even though this episode had its moments, it’s reasons like the ones stated above that I cannot stomach the show anymore. It squanders potential, it doesn’t even try to make sense and everything is either pointless or predictable. I have no interest in the ultimate confrontation between Black Bolt and Maximus because the show failed to make me feel strongly about either side. I haven’t thought of the possible outcomes of this plot because I can’t even figure out the trajectory of this show. I’m not guessing what will happen next, because there’s no intrigue to make me give a damn. At this point, what is there to salvage of this season?

Official Count of Cheesy Background Music: [SYSTEM OVERLOAD]

Triton Watch: I don’t even want to make this joke anymore. Triton got a namedrop in Maximus’s twisted dream in the beginning, but besides that, nada. Dead in the water (literally). Didn’t the dude get his own character poster?

Best Part of the Episode: “They always underestimate me.” “What’s that?” “Nothing.”

Am I watching the next episode?: I don’t really want to. I’m only watching if I absolutely have to for this website (Editor’s note: he fucking has to!! cackles menacingly) With an extra hour in my life, I have more worthwhile things to do—perhaps watch an episode of Stranger Things, work on cleaning my room, or maybe just lie down face flat on the ground.